NICKY JOHNSTON
OK, so we've not reached the stage of X Factor yet where it's entirely necessary to give up your social life. It's still possible to watch the auditions as you're getting ready, having a light snack (big dinners and sexy dresses don't mix) and whacking the slap on and still make it out in time to knock back a few glasses of plonk. We are aware that's probably a bit of a polite number.
But, if there are any single ladies staying in by themselves tonight... or any attached ones for that matter... or any men that like men, you have a couple of treats to keep you company on tonight's X Factor show. (Check out the other notable auditions so far here).
The first comes in the most delicious shape of 23 year old Jake from Scunthorpe. Doesn't sound too glam we know, but he's a... lifeguard.
We're not sure what it is about that occupation, but it's basically a very potent aphrodisiac. Perhaps it's the whole saving other people's lives thing, or the lack of clothes, but lifeguards are hot and that's that.
The ladies in the audience during Jake's audition seem to agree too. His performance of Kings of Leon's, Use Somebody, sends them into screamsville and Tulisa gets her knickers in a tiny twist as well.
“Jake, the lifeguard, I’m quite excited by that audition and the ladies seem to absolutely love you,” she comments after.
He's a hit with Gary too – who is every bit the modern man and clearly appreciate a fellow male.
“Jake I thought that was great, I love your voice, I love your image, I thought it was a great song choice for your audition today, you were fantastic well done,” he says.
The second dish of the evening comes served up in a tasty package named Joseph. He's 26 and comes from Wolverhampton. He's particularly good with his tools. Because he sells them.
Ken McKay Thames TV
Joseph is also totally dedicated to his four year old son Kian and is taking a shot at the X Factor to try and give him a better life.
“When I look at him he just lights up my life,” he says. “Being a father is the best thing ever, the first time I laid eyes on him for some reason something inside of me just changed, my whole perspective on life changed completely.”
Yeah, we're sold too. And his rendition of Led Zepellin's Whole Lotta Love, sells him to the judges.
Tulisa exclaims: “Joseph oh my god. What a voice! What a tone you have. I think Gary’s gonna start getting jealous because you’re gonna be stealing all of the female attention.”
Jel or not, Gary likes what he gears: “Just absolutely awesome, what a great voice, I really enjoyed that!”
And even the terribly hard to please Mel B is a fan: “You smashed it! You’re really hot, you’ve got great tattoos, and you smash things up with tools, and then you sing…done!”
We're not the only ones that are suckers for a fittie then.
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